I’m Not A Good Girlfriend

I’m not a good girlfriend.  I know.. why would I admit to something like that?  It’s not that I’m a bad girlfriend, not even slightly.  I’m a loyal girlfriend, I would never think about cheating on someone I love.  I’m a nice girlfriend, I’m not a demanding bitch who expects my boyfriend to cater to my every need.  It’s just that I’m not one of those girlfriends who goes above and beyond to showcase their love for their boyfriend.

I’m not the kind of girlfriend who will make you baked goods, and bring them to you at work, for seemingly no reason at all.  I’m the kind of girlfriend who will make baked goods WITH you that we can both share while we lie together on the couch, soaking in each other’s warmth.

I’m not the kind of girlfriend who will go out and buy you every thing you mention that you’d like to have, just to see the surprise look on your face when I proudly show it to you.  I’m the kind of girlfriend who will spend my money on things we can do together, as a couple, that we can bond over.  I’m the kind of girlfriend who will save up to buy you that one big thing as a surprise, but allow you to buy yourself most of the things you wish you had, because I believe there is no feeling more satisfying than knowing you are capable to buy things for yourself.

I’m not the kind of girlfriend who will pretend to like the things you’re interested in just to appease you, or make myself seem more enjoyable.  I’m the kind of girlfriend who will support your hobbies and interests, and try to gain knowledge on them so I can enjoy them for myself, while simultaneously forming a better connection with you.

I’m not the kind of girlfriend who will plan an entire day full of surprises in order to get your mind off of that one God awful thing happening in your life.  I’m the kind of girlfriend who will sit with you and try to talk with you about it.  And if you don’t feel like talking, I’m the kind of girlfriend who will lie there in silence while I hold you and promise you I’ll always be there.

I’m not the kind of girlfriend who will cook your meals day-in and day-out, priding myself that I am able to take care of you and am able to cook better than your mother.  I’m the kind of girlfriend who will ask you to help me cook meals, not because I am incapable of doing it myself, but because I don’t see a reason why you can’t accompany me in the process, and then eat the meal we made together.

I’m not the kind of girlfriend who will pick up after your messes, without so much as a complaint, because I want you to feel like I’m the all-around perfect “wife material.”  I’m the kind of girlfriend who will ask you kindly to pick up your things and place them in the appropriate spot, because I know you are a grown up who is capable of taking care of yourself.  I’m the kind of girlfriend who will do your laundry (because for some reason, all men can’t seem to remember the fact that not all clothes can be washed together, and not all can be put into the dryer… and for God’s sake, pre-soak that stain before you try washing it out), but instead, will dump the warm pile fresh out of the dryer onto the bed, and ask you to help me fold and put things away.

I’m not the kind of girlfriend who will bring you and your friends beers while you sit around and watch the game that’s on TV.  I’m the kind of girlfriend who will make sure my guests are taken care of, and if they have been over more than once, let them know they are free to raid the fridge, because by now they know where it is.  I’m the kind of girlfriend who wants your friends to look at me as their friend too, not just the girlfriend slash maid slash waitress.

I’m not the kind of girlfriend who will mute my thought process to avoid the possibility of annoying you, because (let’s all face it) whether you’re the “cool girl” or the “average girl”, girls love to talk about everything and nothing at all.  I’m the kind of girl whose mouth doesn’t have a filter, and I want to be able to talk to you like you’re one of my friends, whether it’s about my bitchy coworker or if I’ve been feeling stressed and upset lately.

I’m the kind of girlfriend who wants everything in our relationship to be equal.  I’m the kind of girlfriend who wants to be able to talk to you about whatever I’m feeling, in hopes that you feel comfortable enough to come to me whenever you feel the need to get shit off of your chest.  I’m the kind of girlfriend who won’t be subjected to the role as your caretaker.  I don’t want a relationship that is built on either one of us pushing aside who we are, and neglecting our wants and desires, in order to please the other person.  I want a relationship where what I like, you like, and what you like, I like… not because we feel like we HAVE to, but because we want to support what the other person enjoys.  I want a relationship where all of our moments are spent feeding off each other with nothing but positivity and happiness.

I will hold you when you’re weak, and cheer you on when you’re strong.  I will give you more credit than you probably give yourself sometimes.  I will be your partner, not just a part of you that is convenient when you need taken care of.  I will listen to your stories, and make sure that I listen to every word, because I want you to do the same for me, even if you’re bored to tears by what I have to say.  I want to do those annoying house chores with you, laughing all the while and enjoying every second of having each other’s full attention.  I will love you with my entire heart, and give you all of my devotion and loyalty.

So maybe I’m not what many other men consider the best girlfriend in the world, maybe I’m doing it all wrong… but I promise that I’m the best girlfriend that I can be… because who wants a relationship where one person’s importance is held higher than the other?

** Side note: I have this kind of relationship (the one that I want), and am very lucky to have a boyfriend who respects these things about me.  I am very fortunate to be with someone who enjoys the fact that I look at a relationship as a partnership… teamwork.  And even better… he thinks that I’m a great girlfriend, and that’s all that truly matters.

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