My eyes shoot open as the sunshine quietly peaks into my window. Some days, I would scrunch my eyes closed, pull the covers over my head, and stare into the black cave I have created until I fall asleep again. But today, I feel peace. I look next to me and smile at the sight of the one I love sleeping soundly, while our dog rests between his legs. I feel his warmth and curl up next to him, kissing his cheek and feeling grateful that I am so blessed to wake up next to his face every morning.
Today, I feel a sweet sense of relief. I don’t feel the need to beg my body to get out of bed. I don’t struggle to complete the mundane daily tasks I procrastinated until now. I breathe and my heart dances in happiness and joy. Today I feel free. Today I know who I am.
Today, I don’t feel the need to check myself in the mirror, knowing full and well I will be dissatisfied with what is looking back at me. Today, my mind takes a break and doesn’t take the time to run in over drive. Today, I thank my mind for quieting down, letting me rest just as well.
My dog wakes up almost as instantly as I do, showering me in the same love and happiness he does each morning. But he knows today is different. He knows I will give him the same amount of affection back. He knows today I will play with him outside. My boyfriend slowly opens his eyes and we smile at each other. He knows today the girl he fell in love with is back. He kisses my hand and pulls me down to wrap me up in his arms. Today he knows I won’t struggle. Today he knows he won’t feel helpless.
Days like today are the days that I fight for. Days like today are the reason I hold on. Days like today I know there’s still someone alive inside of me who wants to live and breathe and love life.